A few weeks ago, Bigpipe decided to give away a Mystery Prize.

The actual mystery prize was a Chromecast. It wasn’t that mysterious, actually; we said what it was in our Facebook post.

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But we decided to have some fun with it. We advertised the tantalising mystery of our mystery prize competition with a picture of some mysterious things. A whale. A bee. A lobster. An escalator. These perfectly normal things were the first to come to mind when we were Google image searching. What, that doesn’t happen to you?

The competition went reasonably normally. At Bigpipe, we make a point of rewarding the best competition entries, rather than just relying on random selection. True to form, there were some excellent entries.

There was this guy, who entered a poem.


Naturally, many people expressed a preference for our ridiculous not-prizes.

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Someone else wanted a whale, for reasons.

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It was all going so well. Then this happened.

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Challenge accepted.

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Come on…

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A bit of peer pressure does the job.

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We’d done our research. It turns out there is a company – actually several companies – in New Zealand who will courier live crayfish to your doorstep. 

So we sent live crayfish to a grouper of our customers on porpoise. Cray-zy? We think this is of-fish-cially the first time any broadband company has done this. We think our hearts are in the right plaice, and we had a reely good time while our customers waited with baited breath, even thought they probably thought it was a red herring up until the last minute. It also gave us the chance to make a carp-load of fish puns. I mean, kahawai not? We know, we know. You’re thinking “Oh, for cod’s sake. I don’t come to your site to trawl through puns. Fin-ish already.” Well, maybe we’ll do batter next time. Haddock enough of this yet? Nah, they’re kraken you up. We’re having a whale of a time. But we’re kind of floundering now. Dolphinately can’t keep this up. Time to pike. Maybe we’ll move to Invercar-gill.

Happily, our customers snappered it right up. They liked it so much they sent photos.