Hello! It’s time you met Sean, one of several alleged humans who works at Bigpipe Towers. Take it away, Sean. 

Your Name Here
Sean Forster

A/S/L?
24 (1 more month until I am a quarter century *cringe*) Male / about 4 desks away from you

That came out a bit weird. Never mind. Tell us a bit about yourself.
Well you know, I’m Sean. I have worked with Bigpipe for nearly 2 years. At the moment I look after our billing and provisioning team making things happen with the internet and then arranging the bill for said internet. I am currently the greatest Rocket League player in the office, this is not up for dispute.

We’ll see what happens at the next intra-office tournament. What do you get up to outside of work?
Gym (sometimes), few beers after work, spending time with family, finding time to play basketball and gaming.

What work do you do for Bigpipe?
Whoops, answered this one. I lead an awesome team of people who on-board and bill our Bigpipe customers. I also attend most of the cool events that Bigpipe sponsor. I am the tall white dude with too much energy.

Indeed. What’s the best thing about Bigpipe?
Other than working for Bigpipe… it has to be support team. Great bunch of people, always going that little bit further for customers.

What’s your favourite thing that you use the Internet for?
Music, all the music.

Favourite video game right now?
Hearthstone. I’m not that great at it though

Quick, everyone, find Sean and offer to play him at Hearthstone. What is your favourite meme?

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkxJLLJ-C7Q?feature=oembed&w=1080&h=810]
(Note: Sean’s favourite meme was terrible. Therefore, this is now his favourite meme.) 

What’s the best thing that a customer ever said to you?
“What would you do? You seem to know about this stuff.” (I did.)

Would you rather fight 100 rat-sized men, or 1 man-sized rat?
Man sized rat. Please don’t ask me to elaborate because I have nothing to back up that answer

Good point. Tell us a joke. 
Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT!? can’t a Chicken just cross the road without being interrogated!

Existential! Link us to your current favourite thing on the Internet
Pretty much any Vine by Marlon Webb, that guy is far too funny for only 6.5 seconds of video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0fpkYV3zQw

What is your spirit animal?
Giraffe, totes Giraffe.

Makes sense. Anything you’d like to add?
Hi Mum, look I’m on the internet!

You are indeed.

At Bigpipe, we pride ourselves on having human staff. One of our humans we are proudest of is Lannah Frost. Find out some facts about this human in the series of questions and answers!

Your Name Here:
Lannah Frost, aka Lannah Banana, aka ‘that girl from Bigpipe’

A/S/L?
13/f/cali hehe

It was YOU we were chatting to back in 2001! Tell us a bit about yourself.
Presented without comment:

Aaargh! Kill it! Kill it with fire! What do you get up to outside of work?
Copy+pasted from my Twitch profile: ‘ll generally be playing Warrior or Necro for pvp (shoutbow or condi war and generic terrormancer). Everything else I’ll be on my ele for. I had some builds here but then they ran away~~
(You can find more Lannah on Twitch here, streaming every sometimes)

That makes sense, to someone, somewhere. What work do you do for Bigpipe?
Someone gave me a swipe card for access in to Bigpipe Towers and I’ve kind of just hung around ever since… ended up drinking the Salesforce Kool-Aid and transformed from a little Business Analyst caterpillar in to a flying Salesforce Administrator butterfly. Legitimately a butterfly, because every seasonal release Salesforce do they change their logo and Spring 16 is a cute little butterfly

Tl;dr – I help make things work so that all of our Bigpipe support emails, chats and orders get to the right people with all of the right information.

Aww. What’s the best thing about Bigpipe?
This one time at band camp when Bigpipe gave away lobsters with free delivery on their Facebook page.

We also get to attend events like Digital Nationz and Armageddon and watch people play with awesome Oculus Rifts. There was this one time we sponsored a League of Legends LCS Finals event at SkyCity and had Alien Isolation on the Oculus Rift and if I recall correctly, someone nearly shat his pants playing. There’s a video of it somewhere I think?

https://youtu.be/970akkWHBKk?t=1m24s

Can I add in a question – what’s the worst thing about Bigpipe?

You may not.
Because if so – people microwave fish for lunch here and it is actually the worst most foul smelling workplace some days.

That only happened twice! What did you get up to for Christmas?
I’m the most boring person irl don’t ask me this!

Too bad, we’re asking anyway.
I got a Kindle for Christmas (thanks dad & look dad i’m on the internet!) and so all I pretty much did is relax in Auckland and read. I went to the Gold Coast too, but nobody wants to hear about my interactions with Australian males my father’s age poorly attempting to hit on me.

What’s your favourite thing that you use the Internet for?
Dank memes and researching what can infact melt steel beams. Nah but seriously, I love the internet for watching shows and have a hard-on for documentaries… such a David Attenborough fangirl. There was this one documentary I watched on Lightbox over the weekend that talked about New Zealand and how we came from Zealandia, but the best part about it was that it showed how kiwis evolved to have stupid long useless beaks for pecking at bugs in the ground because there was no need for them to fly. TIL!

Favourite video game right now?
I’ve finally started playing Dota2 and I am so god awful at it. Ever since I played Starcraft2 I picked up the ladder anxiety bug and now I’m too afraid to play ranked games because I’ll be too noob. Maybe I should hire some Korean/Chinese ex-pro to teach me.

In other less depressing news, I picked up Tabletop Simulator on Steam because it was 50% off (PRAISE LORD GABEN) and would highly recommend. 8/8 m8.

What is your favourite meme?
YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME THIS IS TOO HARD OF A QUESTION
Thinking about it, I think my fav meme of all time must be Epic Fail Guy. I spent a whole 30 minutes (read: 30 seconds) finding this.

Would you rather fight 100 bee-sized men, or 1 man-sized bee?
I think I’d fight one man-sized bee with a Big Pipe, in the form of a game of Cluedo 

Ahaha, we see what you did there. Maybe. Tell us a joke
Giphy’s word matching ability.

Link us to your current favourite thing on the Internet. 

Hacking in Progress

//s.imgur.com/min/embed.js

What is your spirit animal?
Panda! I used to stream on Twitch and would wear a panda onesie. Speaking of that onesie, we hired a new learning consultant/trainer last year and I interviewed her in said panda onesie. Appropriate work attire was appropriate.

Anything you’d like to add?
The game. You just lost it.

NOOOOOO

Bigpipe loves our programmers – without them, we would not have programmers! (That sentence is what programmers like to call “recursive,” which is something that all programmers love.) Without programmers, we also wouldn’t have a website, and/or exist. They are awesome. So here to talk to you about being awesome is our Senior Developer, Lisa! 

Your Name Here: Lisa Quayle

A/S/L? 26/F/Auckland

Tell us a bit about yourself: I’m a problem solver and love logic puzzles – which lends itself nicely to programming! I love getting involved in organising things and I survive by writing lists… so many lists. I’ve been a huge Pokemon fan since I was 5 years old, but I have trouble deciding which one is my favourite. I also love cats, Alice Cooper, colourful socks, travelling, cricket and Hamilton.

What do you get up to outside of work? I’ve recently started learning to surf, so spending a lot of time in the Coromandel on weekends getting sconned in the face by the surfboard and riding a few waves. I also love cooking with my partner – we make big feasts of deliciousness for dinner.

What work do you do for Bigpipe? I’m a front end software developer – so I work on the HTML, CSS and JavaScript for the Bigpipe website. It’s super fun 😀

What’s the best thing about Bigpipe? No data caps!! Unlimited broadband all the time with no fair use policy is great. It mean’s there’ll be no surprises and you can just download as much as you want whenever you want.

What are you doing for Christmas? Chilling with the extended family over in Katikati. There’s going to be so much delicious food. I can’t wait 😛

What’s your favourite thing that you use the Internet for? Watching teh YouTubez. My fav channels at the moment are the React Channel, and Vsauce.

Favourite video game right now? Super Smash Bros on Wii U. Love taking down my fellow Bigpipers with Pikachu. (But not Josh, who is the best at Smash Bros.) 

What is your favourite meme? Such a hard question… there are so many good ones! Gonna go with He-Man HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA haha. And don’t forget the 10 hour version.

Would you rather fight 100 kiwi-sized men, or 1 man-sized kiwi? I’d go for 1 man-sized kiwi because I reckon if you just grabbed hold of its beak you might be able to just climb up it and jump on top. Then you could just ride it around… I wonder if you could beat the Auckland traffic with it…

Tell us a joke! Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom. (credit to a hilarious 10 year old girl who I met at Code Club Aotearoa)

Link us to your current favourite thing on the Internet! My fave thing on the internet at the moment would have to be Scratch. It’s a really cool site where you can learn to code. It’s interactive, colourful and allows you to get started creating games and animations really quickly. I use it in a Code Club where we teach 10 – 12 year old kids how to code. They come up with the coolest, craziest stuff! 

What is your spirit animal? It’s definitely a Pokemon… I’m going to go with Vaporeon because it’s cat-like, but loves the water. 

A wild LISAMON appeared! LISAMON used CODE! It’s super effective!

Here at Bigpipe Towers, we’re all about the customer service. That’s why we have in-house customer support. I can actually see the customer care team from where I sit. Look at them. Making sure that customers get served. What a good bunch! We’d like to showcase a few of the people who work hard to keep Bigpipe awesome, so here’s the first of a series of staff profiles – featuring Enzo!

Your Name Here: Enzo

A/S/L? 21/m/auckland

Tell us a bit about yourself: I was born, did school stuff out West Auckland ways, did University stuff at UoA and then I joined the team at at the start of this year (2015).

What do you get up to outside of work? I like going on adventures and finding somewhere new to go! At the moment I’m getting back into scuba diving now that summer is arriving. I also like to try to do some exercise and I definitely like long walks on the beach.

What work do you do for Bigpipe? Billing and Provisioning! Ordering the internets for our customers and then getting the money flowing.

What’s the best thing about Bigpipe? Aside from having sweet broadband, the best thing is the cool Bigpipe people I get to work with everyday – they’re a fairly cool team who can almost provide some competition in a game of Rocket League 😉
This is a lie. The Bigpipe team are much better than the care team at Rocket League and we will prove it, this lunchtime.

What’s your favourite thing that you use the Internet for? Reddit and watching TV and movies – legally, of course!

Favourite video game right now? Currently playing Assassins Creed: Black Flag. I’m only a couple of years behind the trends!

What is the dankest meme? The botched spanish fresco restoration always gets me

What’s the best thing that a customer ever said to you? Probably just “thank you”, it’s the little things that count.

Would you rather fight 100 bee-sized men, or 1 man-sized bee? 1 man-sized bee! They only have one stinger, so I’m sure I could deal with getting impaled by it only once, right?

Tell us a joke. Stolen but golden – “My girlfriend just dumped me for talking to much about video games. What a ridiculous thing to Fallout 4.”

Link us to your current favourite thing on the Internet 10 hour Gandalf Europop nod!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9RFb8xXZlk?feature=oembed&w=1080&h=608]

What is your spirit animal? That’s easy. A hedgehog.

This is what Enzo actually looks like.